So much despair. Feel so worthless. Can’t pull out of it. So much physical pain. So lonely, so alone. Jealous of all humans who seem to be able to do something I can’t, which is everyone. Feel broken and defeated. No end in sight. How do I keep going when I have no hope? How can I create hope when there is no reason for hope? Feel like I’m losing my precious son. Feel like I have failed him miserably. Feel irredeemable. Somehow must keep going when body is failing, mental is failing. Everywhere I see only death and destruction. Trump. Health Insurance. Death and Loss. So much unknown, everything unknown. Friend’s words are hollow, don’t touch my heart. I think they are over this sob story. Want so much to escape. No escape. Help me please, anyone. Hear my prayer God, please.